One again sorry about stepping out of Geekville, and into the mainstream, but this just had to be said.
And so the day has come. Like waiting for that four to six week delivery to arrive, Paris Hilton’s release date came surprisingly fast. Daddy’s having a big welcome home bash, the paparazzi are trying to get that shot of her first bite of freedom, without getting their cars towed, and everyone is placing bets on how long it will the take for the temptation of a screwdriver to make her forget how much she hates the color orange.
I’m really not going to say much about her place in life. Lord knows that even with my straight and narrow path, I am far from being the picture of success. The truth is, I’m writing this to find closure to this endless scandal, which ironically, I am contributing to. I am really hoping after this, she will stay off my tube for a while. I know the only way this will happen is by one, she stays out of trouble and two, the paparazzi get so bored of her that they start looking for other news like, Iraq, or Afghanistan, or dare I say the Arctic Circle. Heck, while I’m at it I might as well wish for world peace, and a PS 3 for less than $300. Too much? Yeah, getting back to the topic.
Now in the last decade, statistics in California showed that one out of every three DWI reported are a repeat offense, and if Pairs was released back then, there would’ve been a 44% chance of a repeat DWI offense within seven years or so. Not that I don’t have faith in the girl, but I am really hoping that she doesn’t fall into those statistics; if not for my sanity, then at the very least for the well being of a fellow human being. Sadly, I have very no power to change things beyond my own self. Therefore, from this point on, all I will do is wish her well and not give her a second thought.
Now ending on a humorous note, I saw this article on TMZ.com about her cravings for Taco Bell. Paris, please. I love Taco Bell as much as any other Southern Californian. But the truth is, even they can’t compete with this place!
-Pedro Rodriguez
Sources and Further Reading: TMZ, A Guide to Sentencing DWI Offenders 2005